Blue Valentine (2010)

I saw BLUE VALENTINE weeks ago and forgot to write a review soon thereafter, so I wish I could see it again before posting something here on the film, because I probably won’t do a good enough job of convincing you why you should see such a raw and downbeat film. But you should.

Dean, played by Ryan Gosling, and Cindy, played by Oscar-nominated Michelle Williams, are a young married couple with a young daughter. Like so many other couples out there, their marriage is on the rocks. In this case, Dean wants them to stay together but provides Cindy with little to justify that they should. Cindy is becoming increasingly aware of what a dead-end the marriage is but struggles to walk away. Both of them know what they want, but neither do much of anything to get it.

As if the film is mimicking Cindy’s search for good enough reasons to stay while Dean slips further into erratic, alcoholic behavior, the movie skips around in time. We are taken to the euphoric, quiet and silly moment when, on a sidewalk, the two first fell in love. We are brought in uncomfortably close to the private desperation of Dean’s attempt at reigniting marital passion in a blue-lit hotel room.

Dean is uncontrollably romantic at times and, at other times, erratic and melodramatic. Cindy is often the opposite: quiet, guarded and weary. Both characters are played so magnificently by their actors that the film seems to offer little separation between fiction and real life. Only the movie screen reminds us that this isn’t a voyeuristic glimpse into the struggles of real people. Consequently, Williams’ Oscar nomination is refreshing because she eschews actor-y flash at all times.

Criminal, however, was the exclusion of Gosling from the lead actor nominations. I feel like this is – by a mile – the finest work from an actor who continues to delight audiences with complex portrayals, able to mine deeply from emotional wells. While I’m not sure which acting nominee this year should have omitted for his inclusion (because they are all worthy), when I reflect back on BLUE VALENTINE it is Gosling’s performance that I remember the most.

Director Derek Cianfrance has created a film that at times makes your face hurt from smiling at the possibilities of romance and, at other times, makes you cringe from the emotional violence it portrays. I suspect that there are many out there who wouldn’t look at such a realistic and painful story as “entertainment” and would, therefore, not enjoy a film like this. But I measure the success of a film by how deeply I care about its characters, and I cared as deeply for both Dean and Cindy as I did for any characters in a film this year. Yes, Dean is an alcoholic, but he believes – blindly – in the power of love. I wanted him to do the right thing and be happy. I wanted him to work at it. And Cindy, though she is always masking a bubbling anger, is plainly beautiful, gentle and caring. My desire for these two to work it out was as ridiculous as their prospects for successfully doing so. But isn’t that how it is in real life?

BLUE VALENTINE is downbeat, yes. But it’s also wonderfully real. And watching it has value because it makes you think about your own relationships. I can certainly understand why you might want to avoid a movie like this, but I assure you that you’ll be glad if you don’t.

4.0 out of 4